And then....

September 29, 2016

Update from Doc Onc:

Blood work - everything looks good. Everything is functioning like it should. MY TUMOR MARKERS ARE CONTINUING TO DROP!

CT Scan - the spots in my bones that they though could be cancer are going away. YAY!!

Doc and the radiologist are in disagreement over my liver. Radiologist thinks it's still inflamed. Doc compared it to the previous scan and said it's not and that my largest tumor is more defined. That means that before, the tumor was so close to the wall of my liver that it was hard to tell where it started. Now it's obvious...cuz it's shrinking!! Just to prove the radiologist wrong, we're gonna do another CT scn in 2 months instead of 3!

I got my usual 3 injections in my hiney (brought cupcake bandaids) and a BONUS flu shot! Human pincushion!

Nausea is still an issue. We've tried 5 different medications and none have done much good. We've also tried some alternative things with no success. I do have some good days and was actually feeling hungry the other day...my tummy even growled!

This is the point in my meds cycle that my vision/dizziness is at its worst. Just riding it out and hoping it will eventually work itself out.

I've got some new "side effects": numbness/tingling mostly in my hands, but it shows up in other spots too. I also have ringing in my ears. We're pretty sure this is ALL from the meds but just to be sure, we're scheduling and MRI on my spine to make sure we're not missing anything.

So, that's pretty good news!! The miracle is coming...just you wait and see!!

Thanks again for standing beside me and for all of the love and thoughts and prayers!! BIG HUGS to you ALL!!

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!”

Romans 5:3-5 MSG

August 5, 2016

Good morning Battalion!! Happy Friday!! I can't believe that it's already been a whole month since this new battle with cancer began. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. There are moments, although not many, that I almost forget about it but then I'm reminded, well shit...I really DO have cancer AGAIN. I struggle again with that feeling of being "damaged goods" and "defective" because I can't do as much. Here's the thing, I know that God is greater and has something bigger in store for me. Whatever I have to do, or not do, until he gets me there...so be it. Some miracles take time. Keep watching though 'cuz its coming!

I've got a date with Doc Onc today. We'll go over my latest set of labs and talk about my vision. I've been having issues with it. Seeing "stars" and blurred or double-ish vision. I went to the eye doc this week and my eyes look good and healthy (I am also getting my glasses corrected so that might help). Now to figure out, is it the meds, hormones, something else?? I'm praying that whatever it is, that its temporary and we can move on. I'm also getting two more Faslodex shots in my booty today (hence the new Wonder Woman undies).... You're going down, cancer!!

Hope you all have a FANTASTIC weekend!! Do something that makes your hearts happy!!

Keep on praying! Love you!

*****And then the side effects kept getting worse and more tests were done and then....

Cancerversary

Just got my hair done! Meet my Hair Guy, Trenton.

I never understood celebrating the day of your diagnosis (April 5, 2013).  I mean, why would you want to celebrate the day you found out you had an uninvited guest who had moved into your body and wanted to kill you? I figured you just celebrate being "cancer-free" and in my mind, that was the day of my surgery (October 17, 2013)... when they cut what was left of that dumb tumor out of me, thus creating Frankenboob.  If you wanna get crazy, you could celebrate the day you started treatment (May 1, 2013), or the day you finished treatment (January 3, 2014).  I'm all for having a party and maybe even getting presents, but people might start to get a bit annoyed!

I raised the question of cancer-survivorship etiquette to some of my girlfriends and my wonderful and brilliant friend (you know who you are) put it to me kind of like this...

Yes, you celebrate the day you were diagnosed; 

the day that your journey began.

It's the day my fight started.  The day I had to start completely trusting that God was in control of my life. It was the day that a strength I didn't know I had started to grow inside me. It was the first page in my story; a story that I didn't expect or choose or want, but a story that I'm so thankful for.

I learned so much from breast cancer.  I learned things about myself and what I was capable of.  I learned things about my faith and just how BIG my God is.  I learned things about my family and how amazing and strong they are.  I learned things about my friends and about letting people love me and about loving.  All lessons that I will treasure and all lessons that made that journey "worth it".

So.... I'm gonna celebrate my 2nd Cancerversary (apparently that's a thing)!!  It happens to fall on Easter Sunday this year so I probably won't be poppin' bottles just yet.  Instead, I'm going to spend some quiet time reflecting on everything that has happened in the last two years.  I've already started to shed a few tears of joy and thanksgiving so tomorrow should be a two-fisted kleenex kind of day.  Oh, but fear not!  There WILL be a party... soon.

Oh, and I wanted to tell you about a book I'm reading! I should have finished and reviewed it by now, but ya know... life.  Anyway, I started it while on Spring Break in Arizona and am so excited to go deeper into it!  It's called Life Unstuck: Finding Peace with Your Past, Purpose in Your Present, Passion for Your Future, by Pat Layton.

In Life Unstuck, Pat uses Psalm 139 as a guide to look into the areas of our lives where we are stuck and shows us a path to peace and freedom, the life God has planned for us.

"God wants us, His precious daughters, to be reminded and refreshed by the complete and unshakable knowledge of our redeemed life. He wants us completely restored from the things that keep us stuck in the past and He wants us set free to gleefully anticipate all He has planned for our future."

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to live life to the fullest... ready to live unstuck!  I'll keep ya posted!

  

J.O.Y. - 2015

I’m sure you’ve heard of people choosing a “word” at the start of each New Year. The word usually has something to do with what you hope for or want to be.  I had always wanted to pick a word, but would usually forget or decide the word I had chosen wasn’t good enough, or some other excuse. The same thing happens when I decide I’m going to start a journal, a diet, a cleaning/organizing plan…

A few months into 2013, I got my first word… BRAVE.  I had breast cancer.  I was going to need to be brave and hold onto my faith to get through it.  I soon learned that being brave had very little to do with what I could do, and had everything to do with what God could do.  God gave me unexpected strength.  He made me brave.

As 2014 rolled in, I was finishing my radiation treatments.  No more cancer!  My next word… SHINE.  I wanted to shine with the victory God had given me over breast cancer.  I wanted to shine with all that He had done in my life.  Matthew 5:14 in The Message says,

“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world,”

                                                           and that’s just what I was going to do.

It’s hard to shine all the time.  I sometimes wondered if I was really shinning at all.  Did my flaws and mistakes and short-comings dim that light?  I realized again that my “word” had very little to do with me and had everything to do with what God was doing in me.  He shines.  He is working and moving in my life and that light can’t be put out.  It doesn’t matter what stupid things I do, He’ll shine through.  That’s another word… GRACE.

With 2015 waiting in the wings, it’s time to pick another “word”.  Several words have come up in recent months and definitely have meaning to me for this time in my life…. HOPE, FAITH, PEACE, LOVE, BEAUTIFUL.  I went to The Word (aka. The Bible) to help narrow it down and I found this passage (emphasis mine):

“Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into JOY, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”
                                                  -Colossians 1:9-12, MSG

JOY.  God had given me strength to endure (be brave). He let me shine his God-colors to the world and much more.  You can be sure that all of that spills over into JOY.

Each day I want to choose JOY.  I want to remember everything God has done for me and look forward with joy to all that he has in store.

“when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” – James 1:2 NLT

And it’s not just about my joy.  I want to share joy and bring joy to the people around me.

“Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness                         

    they will sing with joy about your righteousness.” – Psalm 145:7 NLT

Bottom line, I want my life to point back to Christ.  I want it to be undeniable whose I am and where my JOY comes from. So in 2015, I’m all about the JOY and I’m wishing the same for you!

What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. (Psalm 68:19 NIV)

We all have hard days. Sometimes just dealing with the everyday things in our lives can be difficult. It's often in those tough times that just asking for help feels like weakness or defeat. In the new devotional, " What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days", Holley Gerth shares 52 Psalms-based devotionals that remind us that we are not alone and not defeated when we feel like we're at the end of our rope.

Whatever your hard things are - disappointment, depression, stress, anxiety, hurt, loss, loneliness..., God had promised to be there, right alongside of us.  He'll give us joy.  He'll give us peace. He'll give us strength. He'll give us exactly what we need, when we need it.

"You serve a God who has the hairs on your head not only numbered but memorized. He knows the details of your life even better than you do. He never loses touch with your heart. And because of that, you can always have hope. Because even if you can’t see what God is doing, you can trust he is already acting on your behalf. Nothing is too difficult for him. No challenge is too big. No detail is too small."

Hey! I’m giving away a copy of Holley’s book!You can enter to win it below!

God bless!!

  a Rafflecopter giveaway

One Year Later

This was me, May 1, 2013, at my very first chemo session.  One year later, I was able to go spend a fabulous, creative (cancer-free) weekend with some of my best girls – some of the same girls that helped get me through the last year!! Feeling so thankful and SO BLESSED!!

I went for my 3-month check up with Doc Onc on the 5^th.  He said that everything looked good. Had labs drawn.  I was complaining about feeling fatigued, so he checked my thyroid and iron levels – everything is normal.  Just going to have to make sure that I am getting plenty of rest, drinking plenty of water, eating right (ugh), and exercise.  I go in on the 16^th for my mammogram.  Piece of cake!

Coffee Break - Strong Enough to Face Giants?

Last month, I spoke at WACC’s Coffee Break and shared about my breast cancer journey.  Thanks to a tech-savvy friend, I have FINALLY figured out how to get the video up and running here on my blog! 
So pour yourself a cup of coffee, get comfy, and listen to my story.  I hope that you’ll be blessed because it was a blessing to be able to share!

SUPER!!

 

Wow. It was a year ago, April 5th, that I heard the words, "It's cancer". I know that in time, my biggest milestones won't be measured against my cancer journey, but right now I'm just so thankful that I'm sitting here full of the love I've received from friends and family, the strength that I've received from my Heavenly Father, and oh so grateful for victory over breast cancer. What a year!!